Now you can own your very own Red Swingline Stapler made famous in the movie, "Office Space."
Email me (in 150 words or less) a favorite "Office Space" story about current (or past) office, and the winner will receive this gorgeous stapler free--as an early holiday gift from NoSpin Marketing.   
"Office Space"2005
 
 
As we approach the end of 2004 one of the many things I’m thankful for is that I do not have to “go to the office” everyday like I did for over two dozen years—over 5000 days of work. For 3½ years now, I’ve been helping companies market their products & services: no-spinning--long before that so-called journalist Bill O’Reilly heisted my name with his dubious “No-Spin Zone”. Yes, I may have to bite the bullet and work in a “real office” again at some point, but the thought literally makes me nauseous: having to make the same commute to the same office in the same type of clothes--and see the same (mostly unhappy) people everyday from 8:00A to 5:00PM or longer 5 days a week 48+ weeks out of the year. Yuk!
 
I’m not gloating at all—and believe me, NoSpin Marketing has its extreme challenges day in and day out. But I’m truly lucky: one of the huge advantages of my type of business being that my office is where I want it (currently in a very spacious room in my home), I can work when I want, and I can choose whom I want to work with (or not). As a former corporate denizen, its been liberating and something that I’d always dreamed about: not having to show up 9 to 5 (or more accurately 7:30AM to 6:30PM)—and being able to actually watch and participate as my kids grow up before my eyes—everyday. It’s awesome, and I wouldn’t trade it for any amount of money.
 

Office Space: The Movie

 
If you’ve never seen the movie, “Office Space,” or if you haven’t seen it for a while, I guarantee you and yours a bunch of holiday laughs. Buy it for yourself (or even better, for a ridiculous boss—but I’d recommend doing that anonymously). Perhaps the most scathing movie parody to date on the modern corporation (and especially software and high tech companies), it is a scream. Maybe you’ve been fortunate enough to never have worked for a company resembling “Initech,” (unfortunately I’ve been there and done that more than once) but if you have a sense of humor you’ll still get big kick out of it. Each time that I watch this wonderful movie, there is a new line or nuance I’d missed in previous viewings. Office Space takes a brutal, yet hilarious, look at modern offices at their very worst:
 
  •  Virtual prisons (with even more stupid rules than your typical penitentiary) that suck the creativity and life out of those trying to succeed--and hoping to make a decent living for their families.
  • Ugly, cramped, suffocating physical “spaces” that make real productive work all but impossible.
  • Breeding grounds for interchangeable drones, “yes” people and clueless managers who are solely interested in making a buck primarily for themselves and maybe their faceless “stockholders” as well.
But in "Office Space" Mike Judge manages to find excruciatingly powerful humor, nonetheless (and without giving the plot away) here are some excerpts from a few memorable scenes:
 
 On his way to work Monday AM in bumper-to-bumper traffic, an old guy on the sidewalk moves along much faster in his walker than the protagonist, Peter Gibbons, in his car.
 
In his first hour of work Monday multiple levels of supervisors remind Peter the right way to do the all important cover sheet on his “TPS reports”: ”….ah Peter..we’ve got a little problem…….didn’t you get the memo….”
 
The way-to-perky HR moron chides her grumpy workers with “Oh, we must have a case of the Mondays…..”
 
 While others at Initech are getting axed in a “downsizing,” Peter gets a promotion company AFTER he starts completely ignoring his inane boss (Bill Lumberg played perfectly by Gary Cole) and telling 2 buffoon, “efficiency” consultants (both named Bob) how the company really works…and how little work he actually does.
 
Peter cleans a fish he just caught (instead of working) on the desk in his cubicle on a pile of computer print-outs.
 
Peter and buddies “kidnap” and “murder” a longtime, troublesome office copier with a baseball bat in a deserted field.
 
Milton (the dilapidated employee who’s been ignored for so long that even no one remembers why he was fired 5 years ago, why he still has a cubicle, and why he is still getting paid) tries to hang onto the last vestige of what is really important to him, the now infamous red Swingline stapler in his cubicle--as Lumbergh grabs it from him—and eventually puts Milton over the edge
 
…to name only a few of the truly classic scenes. It's a must see!
 
Office Space Redux
 
While I’m grateful that I don’t have to go the same corporate office each Monday AM, there are certainly offices that bear little resemblance the Initech prison. At their best, those offices are places of:
  • Teamwork and true camaraderie—and proof that peopleworking together can produce phenomenal, remarkable things.
  • Tolerance and encouragement of individuals' views & new ideas.
  • Personal respect, humanity and authenticity in the face of boorish, bullying behavior of so many mean-spirited, greedy people in so many other businesses.
  • Meaningful rewards (financial and other) for work done well and contributions made.
 
In 2005 I’m suggesting that NoSpin Debunker readers resolve to make a difference one person at time in your respective business—and not just take up Office Space in a life-draining, nonsensical place like Initech's:
 
  • Become a mentor of someone who seeks you out (whoever they are)—or in whom you see promise.
  • Encourage a co-worker every single day—yes, even a boss.
  • Always go the extra mile without succumbing to work taking over your life.
  • Fight stupid, bureaucratic rules that tend to absolve people of responsibility–by any means possible.
  • Do the best you can while not confusing your performance with your value as a person.
And remember, business "Office Spaces" are mostly people—like you and me.
 
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